Grief Doesn't Have to Define You

I work in the world of grief. Unsurprisingly, grief shows up a lot in my social media feeds.

I see countless metaphors and phrases about grief:

• "Grief evolves and changes."

• "We become good friends with grief."

• "Grief never leaves us."

• "Grief waves will come, but over time, we become stronger swimmers. The waves become fewer and less overwhelming."

• "Our grief is so great because so is our love."

In my first year of grief, these phrases brought me some comfort. I was desperate to understand what I was going through, how to survive it, and know that my dead husband would always be with me.

But then someone told me, "You will grieve forever."

That thought felt defeating.

I didn’t want to grieve forever. I didn’t want to feel like this for the rest of my life. I couldn’t. And I knew Eric wouldn’t want me to stay in that place while raising our children.

What is Grief?

By definition, grief means:

• "A deep distress."

• "Suffering."

• "To feel and express great sadness."

• "Inconsolable anguish."

Grief is a natural and normal response to major life changes or significant loss. But that doesn’t mean we have to stay in it forever. Grieving is painful, and it can feel like it consumes your sense of aliveness and joy.

When grief remains unresolved, it buries itself deep within, affecting every aspect of your life — your relationships, interactions, and experiences. The weight of it lingers, even if you try to convince yourself it’s behind you.

Finding Balance

Life is a balance of happy and sad. Circumstances do matter. They shape how we feel. At first, grief can feel all-consuming, leaving little room for anything else. And that’s okay. Feeling the depth of grief is part of the process.

But when you’re ready to feel something else, healing begins. Simply allowing yourself to imagine feeling differently can start shifting the scales away from distress and suffering and back toward life and joy.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

Healing your broken heart is possible. You can go about it on your own — reading, reflecting, and trying different approaches. I’ve done it. And while everything helped in some way, it was often slow and lonely work.

If you want to transform effectively and efficiently, with guidance from someone who has been where you are and helped others find their way through, I’m here for you. This is the Heartwork I do.

Let’s begin your healing journey together. Find out more about The Heartwork and schedule a free discovery call here.