Grief + NO Stages

In 1969, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross published On Death & Dying, introducing the concept of the "5 Stages of Grief." These stages were based on her interviews with terminally ill patients at the University of Chicago’s Billings Hospital, where she worked as a psychiatrist.

The purpose of her work was to help nurses understand the emotional experiences of dying patients. Over time, however, this framework was incorrectly applied to all grievers, leading many to believe these stages were universal for anyone experiencing loss.

But here’s the truth: the "5 Stages of Grief" were never intended for the bereaved.

When my husband died in 2017, I was inundated with references to these stages—books, articles, memes, and more. Yet, the only stage I resonated with was anger. It wasn’t until I dug deeper into the origins of this theory that I had my ah-ha moment: these stages didn’t apply to me as a widow.

The reality is, grief isn’t linear or neatly categorized. It’s deeply personal and unpredictable. While theories of grief exist, none fully encapsulate the complexity of loss.

Here’s What I Believe:

No matter how messy, complicated, or "wrong" your thoughts and feelings may seem during grief, they are completely normal and natural. Grief is your journey—there are no stages, just your experience.

If you're ready to feel better and finally shift away from the chronic pains of grief, reach out. Let's talk.

The Heartwork I do is a game-changer and can help you on your grief journey no matter where you are and how.