Grief + the After Death Checklist

When someone dies, it can feel overwhelming to navigate all the financial and legal matters that need attention. I call this "ADMIN HELL" because, honestly, you just want to grieve. Strangely, though, handling these tasks can sometimes provide a momentary break from the emotional weight—even if it’s hard and exhausting.

Below is a checklist of common tasks to help you through this process, along with my personal experiences navigating them after my husband Eric died in 2017. Keep in mind that every situation is unique, and not all tasks may apply to your circumstances.

📌 Get a LEGAL PRONOUNCEMENT OF DEATH

• In a hospital: A doctor will handle this.

• In hospice care: A nurse can provide this.

• At home: Contact your local medical examiner (coroner) or call 911.

Eric was in the ICU when we took him off life support, so the legal pronouncement of death was handled there. I remember feeling so numb during this step, but having it taken care of immediately was a relief amidst the chaos.

📌 Obtain 10 COPIES OF THE DEATH CERTIFICATE

Order 10 copies as soon as possible. Many institutions require an official copy, not a scan or photocopy.

When Eric died, I had no idea how often I’d need the death certificate. From passports for our daughters to unexpected paperwork, having extra copies saved me a lot of stress. I also kept a digital photo of it on my phone for quick access when a hard copy wasn’t required.

📌 Arrange for ORGAN DONATION

If your person is a registered donor, this may already be noted on their driver’s license. Contact a local hospital quickly, as this is time-sensitive.

Eric was a registered organ donor, and the Midwest Transplant Network stepped in to guide us through the process. Lisa, our social worker became my lifeline during those moments, and we are still friends today.

📌 Notify Family and Friends

Decide how to share the news: in person, by phone, or through a trusted family member. Be mindful of how close loved ones—especially the elderly—receive the news.

When Eric collapsed, news spread on social media before I could control it. A newspaper reporter even tweeted about his death before it was official. It was heartbreaking to feel like I lost control over such a private moment. Learning from that experience, I recommend deciding carefully who and how to notify, especially for elderly family members.

📌 Make BODY ARRANGEMENTS

Find out if your person had specific wishes for their body. Options include:

• Funeral homes for cremation or burial.

• Direct cremation services (more affordable).

• University donation programs (time-sensitive but impactful).

Eric and I never discussed what he wanted. I remember shouting at my brother-in-law when he suggested a cemetery plot because I felt so unprepared to make those decisions. Eventually, we decided on cremation. Over the next three years, we scattered Eric’s ashes in meaningful places before placing him in a Memorial Niche at our church.

📌 Plan an END-OF-LIFE RITUAL

These rituals are for the living, offering a space to grieve and honor your person. Options include:

• Traditional funeral or visitation.

• Graveside service.

• Celebration of Life.

• Memorial gatherings in non-traditional locations.

The Driskell family helped so much by taking the reins in organizing Eric's Celebration of Life at our church. The high-school and Touchdown Club helped do so many things - I don't even know. But I contributed by collecting memorabilia and writing a speech.

📌 Write an OBITUARY

Have a family member or friend help if writing feels too difficult. You can share it on social media, through the funeral home’s website, or in a newspaper.

Eric’s nephew, who has a gift for words, wrote a beautiful obituary. It’s okay to ask for help if you feel overwhelmed by this task.

📌 Notify Organizations and Secure Properties

• Notify Social Security and creditors (provide death certificates).

• Secure homes, cars, and mail. This includes locking up, stopping or forwarding mail, and notifying landlords or neighbors.
  
  

📌 Manage ESTATE and DEBTS

• Locate the will (if there is one) and consult a probate lawyer if needed.

• Transfer assets, close accounts, and manage debts.

Eric and I didn’t have a will. I had to navigate the estate without clear direction, which made an already difficult time even harder. One unexpected relief was learning Eric’s truck loan had a life insurance policy, which paid it off after his death. Little surprises like this helped lighten the load.

📌 Contact Social Security for Survivor Benefits

This is crucial if minor children are involved. Survivor benefits provided my kids with financial stability, which was a huge relief.

Both of my daughters received monthly financial support through Eric’s Social Security benefits until they turned 18. It lifted a significant burden off my shoulders and allowed me to focus more on their emotional needs.

This website helps explain Survivor Benefits: CLICK HERE

📌 Contact LIFE INSURANCE Companies

Locate policies, even unexpected ones. Designate someone to help you make the calls if it feels too overwhelming.

📌 Contact a TAX CONSULTANT

You’ll need to file taxes for the deceased and possibly the estate. Professional help makes this easier.

📌 Focus on Heartwork

Grief is hard, and support is crucial. Find a therapist, counselor, or grief coach (like me). Tending to your heart is the most impactful way to help yourself and your family heal.

Fine Print: This checklist is not professional financial or legal advice. Consult with experts to ensure all steps are handled properly.

If you’re navigating this journey and need support, I’m here. Book a free discovery call to see how I can help you through this overwhelming process.