Grief + Remarried

Grief doesn’t end when you fall in love again. If anything, it becomes more complex. Balancing the love you hold for your late spouse with the new relationship you’re building can feel like walking a tightrope.

But here’s the truth: it’s possible to grieve and move forward at the same time.

I know this firsthand because I’ve lived it.

Two years after my husband Eric died, I met Dave—or as I lovingly call him, Mr. Match—on Match.com. Dave is a widower too, so we both brought our own grief and life experiences to the table. We married 3-years later (5-years after Eric died). Navigating a new marriage while honoring our late spouses has been both beautiful and challenging.

Never one of us feels like we're actively grieving our late spouses - hell, if we were, we probably wouldn't be together.

There is a difference between grieving and living with grief.

Grief and Love Can Coexist

One of the biggest myths about grief and a new relationship is that moving forward means leaving your past behind. That couldn’t be further from the truth.

My love for Eric didn’t disappear when I started dating Dave - or when I married him!

I miss and love and think of Eric every single day. But I also love this life I'm creating in his absence.

Dave understands this because he’s walked the same path. We talk openly about our late spouses, share stories, and even honor their memories together. It’s not about comparing; it’s about embracing the fullness of our lives.

Navigating Guilt

A new relationship can stir up feelings of guilt. You might wonder, “Am I betraying my late spouse?” or “What will others think?” These thoughts are normal and natural, but unhelpful.

The truth is, your late spouse would want you to find happiness again - even if during life they told you something else. Ha.

Loving someone new doesn’t erase your past; it’s a testament to your resilience and capacity for love.

For me, I leaned into the idea that Eric would want me to live fully and completely. And while I can be happy alone, I like having a person that's all mine. And honestly, I think I'm better with a partner.

I knew Eric would be happy that I found someone for me in this next chapter - so that I wasn't alone. And this thought brought me comfort and permission to embrace this new relationship.

It’s Brave to Open Your Heart Again

Choosing to open your heart to love after loss is an act of incredible bravery. It takes courage to embrace vulnerability, knowing the risks involved. But here’s the thing: opening your heart to romantic love isn’t a requirement for healing or happiness after loss.

You can live an intentional, joyful life without recoupling.
Your healing journey is about what feels right for you.

Whether you choose to open your heart romantically again or not, the goal is to create a life that honors both your grief and your growth.

And if you do choose to love again, it’s important to remember that grief doesn’t magically disappear when you enter a new relationship. Grief is confusing. It will find ways to coexist with your new love, and that’s okay.

Blending Lives and Grief

When you’re blending two lives—and two griefs—it’s essential to communicate openly. Dave and I quickly learned the importance of setting boundaries, respecting each other’s grieving processes, and supporting one another. Sometimes that looks like sitting quietly with each other’s memories; other times, it means giving space to process individually.

Our go-to question when we're checking in on eachother emotionally is "how is your heart right now?"

Moving Forward with Love

Moving forward doesn’t mean leaving anyone behind. It means carrying your love for your late spouse in a way that complements your present. For me, that’s looked like creating a life with Dave that honors both Eric and his late wife.

We’ve built traditions that weave together our shared pasts and our future. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. Love and loss coexist in a way that’s raw, real, and incredibly human.

And if you follow me on social media, you'll see places in our home and how we decorate, supporting eachother's past lives and loves. I love that actually. So much.

You Can Do This, Too

If you’re navigating a relationship after loss, know that it’s okay to feel conflicted. It’s okay to love fiercely while grieving deeply. Your journey is unique, and there’s no right or wrong way to move forward.

This is the Heartwork I do with clients—helping them navigate the complexities of love, grief, and new beginnings. If you’re ready to embrace both your past and your future, I’m here to guide you.

Grieving while remarried isn’t about choosing one love over another. It’s about letting both loves shape you as you move forward with grace and courage.